Stupidity

From the point of a frustrated and confused member of the social order, it appears to me that we are living in a society where stupidity easily fits into a simple, three tier, hierarchical model. Where Darwin argued that species adapt, I would argue that--at least where "civilized" culture is concerned--humanity's intellectual evolution is rapidly decreasing, therefore allowing us as a whole to adapt to a culture where the art of thinking is becoming obsolete. This author submits to you that, due to technology and volumes of procedure protocol having been written for every job imaginable, people have lost their ability to reason intellectually and have essentially "dumbed down." This, my friends, is the curious but sad truth of the matter. Therefore, I believe that stupidity can be reasonably fitted into the following three tier, hierarchical model.

First or Lower Level: Stupid People Who Know They Are Stupid.

Second Level: People Who Are Stupid But Don't Know They Are Stupid.

Third or highest level of stupidity: People Who Know They Are Stupid, and Are Afraid Others Will Find Out.

Take the first level for example--stupid people who know they are stupid. These people are benign to the rest of us. When faced with something that is beyond their capabilities, they simply admit and own their stupidity by stating something like, "I don't know" or "I have no idea." These people are notthe people whom you see on the 6 o'clock news; they are just not newsworthy. Folks in this category have nothing to do with melting down the local nuclear reactor, "removing" some poor guy's uterus in a surgery gone awry, or with disciplining their kid by holding him by one leg off a 3 story balcony. Quite simply: they know their limitations.

However, folks fitting into the second tier category--people who are stupid but don't know they are stupid--pose grave problems for the rest of us. These are folks who, at the very least, are a serious frustration, or in some cases, can be downright dangerous! Take the button-dependent, fast-food employee; they can present a serious frustration. Unless there is a button for what the customer is ordering, these people are lost. They will tend to react in one of two ways toward a creatively thinking customer.

The first reaction is called the "no button dilemma" reaction. This occurs when the customer orders something that has not been conceived of by the wise and all-powerful button designers; thus, there is no button on the cash register to fulfill the request. The employee will first look at the customer as if the customer has asked him/her to explain Einstein's quantum theory of light. This will be followed with a deer-in-the-headlight type gaze. The employee will then peer down at the register in disbelief for 2 or 3 seconds, after which, the deer-in-the-headlight stare will occur a second time. Immediately following this second troubled deer look, the employee will look nervously to the right, and then to the left, finally stating, "I'll have to get a manager." All the while, you wait.

The second reaction more truly defines stupidity that is out of the stupid individual's own conscious awareness. This is the girl that works at the ice-cream establishment where you order extra hot-fudge on your hot-fudge sundae. When you make this request, she attempts to problem solve by explaining to you--the misguided customer--the law of the land. She replies, "I'm sorry sir, it's only available inone temperature." Brilliant!

Needless to say, fast-food is not necessarily a life or death scenario (though some would argue otherwise). However, you can see that if folks belonging to this second tier were to work in a medical field, in the military, or operate heavy equipment, they could be dangerous! Beware!

As for the top tier of the stupidity hierarchy--people who know they are stupid and are afraid others will find out--look out! All I can say is stay away from these people at all cost. Folks belonging in this category are the most dangerous individuals of all. Here, these people will attempt things they have no business attempting, and when things blow up, or people get fired, or the fliers for Black History month get wrongly shipped to the KKK's national headquarters, they blame YOU! And that my friends, is a problem.

So there you have it: The Three Tier Model of Stupidity. If I were a betting man, I'd say that you are probably thinking of someone right now whom you could fit into one of the tiers of this model! Apply this knowledge responsibly, and above all, know your limitations!